race vs gender and other related issues
Having lived this long, one thing I am sure of is that it is almost impossible for all women to unite. I am stating some by now obvious facts here, maybe. Starting with our personal relationships, depending on where we are geographically, many of us are conditioned by our patriarchal culture to please others, please men and/or other powerful authority figures, and also to compete against other women for the attention of a man. Then there are those of us who are plagued by the “ I am not a feminist, but....” syndrome. Again, that fear and need for approval is behind that.
Next, there is the envious, begrudging group. (Now this is applicable to all humans, not just to women.) Not just envy, but the strong desire to see the subject of our envy bite the dust, be hurt badly , or even die. She or he may not have done anything good or bad to you, but just the fact that s/he exists, or that she is successful gets to you. Greed, and the uncontrolled longing for their lives, to grab what is theirs, to conquer and possess. The very obvious example is colonialism. But this is all around, again, within our immediate circles, and this plays out in gender and race areas too. These days, especially with the booming social media, and the celebrity culture, people seem to be lessinhibited in displaying this kind of hatred. But then this is the same envy that makes some men commit atrocities against women. A milder but still destructive form of this occurs in our personal relationships too. Now, if you venture into in-law territory, unless there is some sort of miracle, you can say goodbye to female sisterhood! Along with this goes the entitled group, which believes that they are the only ones that deserve anything good, deserve to win all the time. Class differences play a big role here too.
Now let us assume all this can be overlooked when it comes to a common cause, say, child abuse. Soon something even more elemental comes in. The past. History. (Now, when we talk about history, or racist and sexist historical figures, we could say that they were products of their times. Even Gandhi was said to be racist towards Africans in the early days. But later when he experienced racism from the whites, he realized his mistake. But there are a few who trascended the values of their times, which is incredible).
So, Unresolved issues from the past. Race. When Oprah, the great advocate for women, supported Barack Obama rather than Hillary Clinton, I realized that race won. Granted, there are times when gender and race issues unite, but not always. When I listened to Mruduladevi’s speech yesterday, (shamefully, I have to admit that is the first time I heard that voice, by which I mean, their story, or a small part of it, in their own voice, words) I became aware again that the past is coming to wake us up, that mere gender membership is not enough for women to unite. So much pain and anger of a whole group has to be addressed. If, even in this age, I say, ”us and them”, when I talk about my countrymen, something is seriously wrong.After all, if we went back far enough, we may find that we are all related -- yes, upper and lower castes, North and South, Hindu and Christian and Muslim and Parsee.
Listening to that speech made me feel guilty, ashamed , and rightly so. But I also felt a sense of futility, and a feeling that I had no right to say anything in the face of this powerful collective experience. Or rather whatever I say would be inadequate or worse, patronizing. But then if all of us feared that or more unpleasantness, and kept quiet, we will never come close to unity. We have to talk. Dialogue.Add to this, the other big big divider - religion. Divisions within religions. Catholics, do not be complacent. “Upper caste” “ first Christians turned Catholics” apparently threw the Holy wafer at the “low caste” “new converts”during Mass — learned that from Mruduladevi’s speech. We still do not even think of marital relationships with the Dalits. (They may not want it either, I am sure , but again, it is the principle).
Even though the Indian Constitution calls for secularism, the patriarchal culture will not relinquish its mighty weapon of controlling the masses, amassing wealth for themselves and their allies in the political and business world. Another important function of religion is of course, to keep women in their place. And many of us do fall for it, or have no other way, we are so intimidated by it all. And no one wants be a pariah, which means it is no longer just gender, but class and race too. Because think about it, we know what religions can do to pariahs - the outcasts, the so-called low caste,to widows, to orphans.
Note: finally, if we have a handful of girl friends who gets you, and with whom we can be ourselves, then count yourself lucky. Thank goodness for small blessings!
