India's Daughter

Village Belle by Raja Ravi Varma 

I watched the documentary, India's Daughter today. I couldn't bear to listen to most of the men in there, including. and especially, the literate lawyers -hard  to watch the whole documentary. For a while, I was at a loss for words. Disturbing, heartwrenching, and terribly real. The mindset of the majority of citizens of a democratic nation, that prides itself on its culture! I was lamenting about a few hate mails I received after a story of mine was published a long time ago. Why am I even surprised? I just saw and listened to a few representatives of the educated males in our capital city of New Delhi, in modern day India. But watching this should be mandatory in India.By the way, to the lawyers- even a girl going out with her own father or brother is not left alone by anti-social elements like these.  But then I am sure people like these lawyers and many religious persons still would not get the message. That girls shouldn't walk outside their homes at all,  would be the lesson that  they would want us to take away from this. Better, let them all kill themselves! Which they do do to the unborn female child.
Even elderly nuns in convents are not safe, when it comes to insecure men wanting to reinforce their sense of power. News - Elderly Indian nun raped . I cannot forget what those misguided, cruel, pathetic, stupid  men did to Jyoti. I cannot forget her dreams, her hopes. Her mother's eyes. And this will and should haunt us forever.  I am so ashamed of my country, of its so-called "tradition" and "culture". 

It was hard to see even the hope of the protesters, for change, for a better tomorrow. . This is one time when I value the merits of a brutal, long drawn out war that will affect the whole of India, but which took the men out of India, into other countries.  That is the one long term change that came out of the world wars, in the West.  Women had to take over. They came into their own, in spite of the loss of lives. The sacrifice had an unforeseen effect of women's liberation.  Of course I do not want needless deaths of men.  or women, which is what is happening now. If we could learn something from history, without bloodshed and killings, that is it. Education is the answer. How - that is the question. How to educate? What modes to use? Through travel, and exposure to other cultures? Through classes? Movies? TV? As it is, las I mentioned before.  even if many of them saw this movie, I know what many Indians -men and women - would say , shaking their heads - the girl shouldn't have gone out at night. They just wouldn't get the message, or pretend not to get it. And when  they do that, they are denying the humanity of their daughters and sons. Forgetting the real meaning of civilization.

But why am I racking my brains as to how to stop men from behaving inhumanly? Strict enforcement of a just law is all that is needed. Where the responsibility to not to commit evil deeds is on the individual. For instance, disbar and dismiss those lawyers, politicians, policemen etc  who nurture such inhuman notions about women. If they still do not understand, throw them in the jail with the other rapists. After all, we did manage to eradicate caste system, at least in certain parts of India. According to that old tradition, the lower caste women were considered untouchable, but at the same time, playthings for the high caste. Much like the other tradition of slavery, and the feudal system. Strict enforcement of the law did help with those. But then gender inequality is of benefit to all men - regardless of class or race. So the number of people who will feel cheated out of their "rights" is higher. And they won't let go off their "rights" that easily. So the struggle becomes harder.

For Catholics, in the Ten Commandments - thou shalt not kill does not put the onus on the victim, but on the perpetrator. But in the case of rape, the law in India seem to think that the victim is the culprit. Once that attitude changes, things will fall in place rather nicely. The eleventh commandment should be "thou shalt not rape". 

I found this on the internet. Seemed very helpful.

11. When you see a woman walking with a man, do not rape her.
12. When you see a woman walking with a child, do not rape her.
13. When you see a woman walking with another woman, do not rape her.
14. If you feel you are a thorn, and the woman is a flower, hit your head, repeatedly, on a stone or brick wall, whatever is convenient, and knock yourself out.
15.Use the buddy system here too if you fail to remember the above. Ask a trusted friend to bring a rock or brick to knock you out.

Still, I am hopeful for India's men and women. Looking at the thousands of girls and women protesting in the streets. Their courage, their hope, and their strength. I see the change right there. This would not be seen thirty years ago. These are the women of my generation, and their daughters. I can only bow my head before them. I am so proud of them, of how far we have come. I am ashamed of myself because I ran away from my country. It was escapist. 
The struggle has just begun, and it should include all humane beings - women and men. Because just like that assumption that women are basically "sex" (as in the words of that lawyer) and so need to be controlled, while in the same breath he said that women are "flowers" to be protected - that is what we have to face. Who on earth can live according to that contradictory idea? And the other assumption that all men are savage beings who are less than human who have no control over their own minds, and no intelligence to take responsibilty for their own actions,  or do not have the least bit of sensitivity to think of a girl or woman as a human being. That is degrading our own fathers, brothers, and sons. 

for Jyoti.

a girl tortured and murdered. just like that. for no reason except that because they could. I know no one's "sorry" means anything now.  your life was stopped-- cruelly, inhumanly, wantonly. sorry that you were unfortunate enough to be born in this country called India or Bharat or Hindustan. sorry that there weren't enough human beings in that land who could prevent this horror that was dealt to you. hope you get some kind of justice at least after your death.


"Jyothi" means light. All children are lights of the world, of the future. boy and girl. man and woman. When that young girl with all her little big dreams of a better, happier life was murdered so horribly, she is not the only one who died. We all died -- at least a part of each one of us. She died a thousand deaths -- a placard read. And it hit me again and again. Even I at this jaded stage of my life, when I thought nothing could touch me anymore, cannot stop the tears. But they are no good, I know. What kind of sick people will do this? What kind of normal people will let this happen? Why? How many more before we act? I am ashamed to think that I am glad I am far away from that place where human life has zero value, and girls' lives, less than that.


these inhuman acts are not just for or because of  sexual power. Nor is it as some point out,  because of poverty. Being poor does not mean you have to rape and kill women.  It is hatred born out of sheer envy and basic meanness. envy at the little happiness or success and independence that these girls and women created for themselves. fear that these girls will fly. away from their grasping hands. these men just follow a way of life akin to the old racial pogroms. the anger and the envy towards the "uppity" woman. new ways of intimidation, containment, punishment. women stay in the margins! do not step out of your male-approved roles.

The light was extinguished by a few idiotic demons. And still, there are those who blame the light. Why did it burn? why did it light up? Look to any culture that mistreats its women, denies them the rights of a human being -- they all reek of poverty and failure. A tradition that murders unborn females, a land filled with mass graves of female bodies -- India's holocaust. Whole villages devoid of women because of this selective breeding. Then they buy kidnapped little girls to use as slaves in their households. There are those so-called educated men who point out here that men get hurt too . they do not have any freedom either! First of all I do not know how they can compare their "hurts" or inability to have indiscriminate sex, to the atrocities committed on women on a daily basis, just because men can. Be it a war, or a day at the store -- men vent their frustrations and compensate for their failures by hurting and killing women. It is your outfit, it is your hair, it is your expression that is to blame, they tell us. No, it is none of these. Because you do this to any female -- right from when they are in their mother's womb till they are dead.

There are those all over the world ( this includes obviously, religious and political leaders, educational institutions run by nuns, priests, and other religious gurus, and law enforcement officials) who believe that the right to "the pursuit of happiness" is only for men. Much like the divine right of kings, like nations, that out of greed, conquer and plunder, like races who think they are superior and are entitled. And for these men who look down on women,  the one thing that pops when she says, 'happiness", is sex. Years ago when I wrote about my dream of a land where a lone  woman can walk safely even at midnight, all these twisted minds could get out out of it was, again, sex. Why do you want to walk at night? isn't it for sex? Or , later, it could be "why do you want to walk at all?"  "Why do you need to breathe?" Does this mean they don't get it -- that it is not their unwanted advances that we crave for, but the freedom to choose for ourselves, as much as any human being can? Not really -- they pretend not to get it. And what if men are hurt? We don't find pleasure or satisfaction in that! The fact that for every 100 girls that are preyed upon, 50 boys are too these days, doesn't make any of it right. Nor does that make any of us happy.

a suggestion -- round these evil elements up, including the ones in power who condone and support these crimes for some money, the politicians, the police who are the products of a colonial and patriarchal culture, and send them over to the war zones. Move all the human beings out of those areas and let these idiots fight among themselves and rot. Or to the desert.  Meanwhile, educate the rest. as to the real meaning of "culture" and "civilization" . Those words do not mean that men can do whatever they want, and get away with it. learn to enlighten. and  to be enlightened. no amount of plunging in the Ganges will help us with that. Open the mind.

for more info: http://ajbernard.blogspot.com/2011/02/what-is-wrong-with-some-well-actually.html

how India treats its women

child abuse in India

cruelty towards women in other places too, escalating to unbelievable  levels during wartimes --   cost of being women


modern day racism is rampant all over especially in some of those Middle Eastern countries that employ a lot of men and women from developing countries. no basic human rights there, except for the natives and the whites. and we do not see any human rights activists complaining much.